I’m still wracking my brain trying to come up with a clever explanation for
How you and I met.
When it was so random, and pathetic, and totally ill-motivated–

Well, not entirely.

I’d like to assume that you were motivated by boredom.
While I was motivated by exasperation
Or some other feeling that justifies why I put
Myself out there and risked the humiliation.

I was incredibly brave to answer your bold questions.

And to invite you over.

You were a stranger. (Which doesn’t matter since…)

I’d just been with another.(A mere hour ago)
Not so successful,
But it had done.
At the time.
A sort of masturbation.
An almost encounter.
He was obviously not into me.
Which I took offense at.
But (immediately) subsequently dismissed as mutual feeling.
Nonetheless, the deed was done.
As it always goes with me.
Better take one for the team
Than seem like a douchebag.

Always karma.

Nevermind the consequence.

Ironically.

He fucked me.
And I let him.
And I shat on his cock. (After a thrust… or two I don’t remember)
And I remember feeling embarrassed by it.
How gross he must think I am. (Which I conveniently converted to…)
It’s revenge for him wearing a headband and calling it a bonnet.
And calling himself top.
When he was so made up.
His face was cakey and opaque.

But I still went down on him.
Pleasured him and became his slave.(I pretended to be…)
The weak one.
The giver.
(Which literally is the receiver when you’re taking one up the ass,
or in the mouth,
depending on how strongly he needs
to assert whatever masculinity he’s imagined into himself)

When you came by,
Almost instantly,
I dillydallied. (I was still expunging the rest of him from my bowels)
And I minded each squish
That was a souvenir from the travesty that had just occurred.

I took out the trash when I went down to meet you. (To explain what took me so long)
I thought nothing of you until you turned around.
And I saw that your eyes were slits.
And I asked myself if had shrunken so significantly,
That I drowned in them.

Like finding the coin that was tossed from a boat.
(Which immediately caused panic,
Because I knew that you wouldn’t like me)
I felt discovery.
So disproportionate was everything between us.

And I gave you a glass of water to drink.
A cigarette.
My hand.
You showed me the cuts on your knuckles.
From striking a wall.
Out of rage.
And I told you I wanted to fix them.
(And I really did
Because I found something broken in you, too)
But you dismissed me,

Squeezed the hand I gave you and interlocked fingers.
I asked you why you’re alone.
And you told me that no one’s ever made the mistake
Of being with you.

What a great time to be wrong then.

And I told you I thought you were cute.
And that it was impossible that no one would have swooped down
And got you already.
You told me that you thought that I was cute.
(Which I took as politeness, but accepted as true)

I moved closer and you lay your head on my shoulder.
I kissed your forehead and said I wanted to keep you.
A hug.
I was swallowed by your arms.
And I fell into a nook on your chest.

So I took you into my room.
We lay beside each other.
I asked you if it were alright if we just went to sleep.
We spooned.
You wrapped me tightly with your arms.
I told you that this was how I always want to sleep with you.
I turned around and you kissed my mouth
And pulled me closer.
Your lips are like warm jelly that never melts away.
I tried to exhaust them.

I pulled away and looked at your face.
I stroked your hair back.
You looked straight into my eyes.

I hate kissing you.
Because I can never see your face when I do.
You smiled.
And you asked if you could take your shirt off.
I said yes.
I grabbed you.
And peppered you with kisses.
Your bare skin.
And the stubles of hair on your chest and belly.
Your hands were all over me too.
Kneading. Squeezing.
Wanting.
You take your clothes off.
And I could have left mine on.
But you insisted.

Your massive cock.

I told you there was no way that was getting in me.
I made up for it by sucking you.
The way I’ve always wanted it to be done to me.
(With full submission)
You told me that you were excited to do it with me.
I feared this. (As its size has already caused my jaw to ache)

You bargained with your kisses.
That moan you have.
The way you looked at me when I was pleasuring you.
You looked at me.

You called me “baby”.

And pleaded with me.
And I let you do as you willed.
I trusted that you would be gentle.
That you wanted to please me too.
That you would kiss my nape as you took me.
That you would turn my face to kiss my mouth.
As if to take away the pain that you were causing.
And you did.
In a way so… heavenly.
You say, is it alright baby?
Are you pleased baby?
Do you feel good baby?

I swam in a sea of yeses.

You devoured me.
With your lips,
Your tongue,
Your arms holding me tightly.
I felt like you were in me. (And you were)
And I was in you.
And we were diving in a pool of

Deliciousness.

You took me with you
As you took each step to climax
And then explode.
Your moans had mixed with mine
And your breath and mine blew into each other.
And I was filled with light.
I was done.
Like a cake. (And you had come out clean.)
You took me to the bathroom.
And you caressed me.
You said we’re going to have a baby.
I am to be your wife.

And you stayed.

We ate.
We went back to bed.
You left a spot with your arm stretched across
Where my pillow should have been.
It was my spot now
As you are mine now
And I yours.

As agreed.

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