i covet

i covet

I secretly envy this guy I used to go to High School with. He went to the same University as me after graduation. He now has a fabulous life working in PR abroad.

He was one of those silent awkward cuties who just magically turned into this extremely hot, well-connected stud. Back in the day, a lot of girls had a crush on him. I admit I found him appealing too. But I was too young and inexperienced to realize that it was worth going after him when I had the chance.

He turned gay. As they all do. And if I were straight, that would have been sweet revenge. But since I’m gay, that sucks. Because he isn’t the awkward little boy he used to be. He’s a total beefcake surrounded by socialite friends, sipping wine and worrying about his facial care products.

God, I hate him.

And I hide it by pretending I want to turn out like him. But really I just want to get him in bed and be done with him.

To prove a point–

that I can get him and leave him.

Okay, I just totally objectified him. I secretly wish that he would still be the sweet, unassuming guy he was in high school. But with his career, being full of yourself or being surrounded by people who are is an occupational hazzard.

I wonder how it must be for him when he steps in to a room, or when he goes to the high school reunion (if, he’s not too cool for that), when everyone would stop, stare and sigh.

Darn it, I should definitely consider getting hot. I mean, I know I totally have it in me. I just never got around to it. Maybe I’m selling myself short on a lot of things.

I was stalking his blog before I wrote this and I saw what his ideal date would be. Hell, the only thing that matched me was “humor”. Screw that! I’d rather be hot than funny.

Maybe when I’m both we’ll be even.